I notice her. She is beautiful.
I look at her. Did she notice. 
She sees me. She looks at me. 
Is she shy. Am I prying while looking?

I feel a tension. 
Am I attracted to her?
Am I making her feel 
uncomfortable. 

I sometime get caught, 
attracted to people 
who are attracted to me. 

I don't feel I'm an 
attractive person. 
Overweight, loosing
my hair, loosing my teeth. 

Seeing myself 
in the street, 
I'd probably 
not look twice. 

In my mind
for the longest time
I didn't think people
would be attracted to me. 

Now I accept, or understand
that I might be attractive 
to certain people.

When someone is
attracted to me, 
I want to hold on
to that attraction. 

Please love me
as I don't love myself. 

I feel selfish,
abusing someone attraction
for my own self pity. 

A twisted game
of justification
desires, and
self loathing
emerge and I loose myself.

I want the love of others.
I don't want others to love me. 
If they love me, 
I owe them something. 
I have to act and behave
in a certain way
for the love to continue. 

If they love me,
they don't know me. 
If I want to cultivate
that love, I need
to be that which is loved. 

Wich is not me. 

Why am I afraid of love?
Am I able to love?