Subj : Re: Turning Life Arou 1/2 To : METALHEAD From : Daryl Stout Date : Tue Apr 14 2020 11:25 pm M> DS> Too many people need to do that, nowadays. I long for the days when M> DS> life's pace was slower, and you didn't have folks at each other throats. M>I feel that way all the time! How extreme is it for you? OK, you asked for it. First, three years ago, I had to become my Mom's caregiver, then ended up putting her first into the hospital, and eventually into a nursing home. I had to become her Power Of Attorney, and with the help of Arkansas Asset Protection Group, got everything financially set up. Basically, all of her monetary assets had to be cashed out, and put into a Miller Trust...to cover the $5500+ a month nursing home fee. My younger brother wanted nothing to do with that, so all of that fell on my shoulders. Then, I ended up moving out from H.U.D. subsidized housing for the disabled in West Little Rock, to move back home. I had moved out from home (where I'm back at now...more on that in a moment), when I got married in 2003. Tragically, my wife died of a heart attack at 48 years old, 3 weeks shy of our 4th anniversary. Since I became disabled during our marriage, I was able to stay out there. My Dad had died from pancreatic cancer 2 1/2 months before my wife died...it's coming up on the 13th anniversary of her passing...and I know I'll be a basket case that day. But, with the funding I was to get from the Miller Trust after her death, I had to move out of there, and move back home...because it would've put me over the limit, and I would've been evicted. So, by moving out when I did, I do so on my terms, and am welcome to come back there to visit residents. I had a fellow ham radio operator and his 2 sons, move me with UHaul, basically across town, for $500. However, I lost 95% of my furniture in the move, as there was no room for it here...so he, his wife, and his sons, got all the stuff I couldn't move over here. Much of the stuff is STILL in the garage here. All my friends with my hobbies work, and have a family. Medical wise, it's hard to get a driver, because my brother was nearly killed in a freak motorcycle wreck nearly 3 months after my wife died. So, I ended up putting my Mom in a nursing home in Lonoke, about an hour east of Little Rock...but it was cheaper than in Pulaski County. In mid-July last year, the staff told me "her body was shutting down", and I needed to put her into hospice...3 weeks later, she was gone...less than a month before her 93rd birthday. The funeral was delayed nearly 2 weeks, as the funeral home was so busy with other funerals on the schedule. My brothers former high school classmates being there, was great therapy for him...as he has always had a hard time with mortality, his, his friends, animals, or otherwise. He didn't recognize one of the women, who had married another classmate. She told him "Dank (his nickname), I got fat...and you got old!!" Talk about a shot across the bow!! I'll tell of one my late wife did to me later in the message. Then, 2 months after her death, field rats (rodents) found their way in the house...and I had to call Terminix to remove the items soiled by the droppings, and to rodent proof the place. Thankfully, I had gotten some money upon her death to pay the huge bill...but they are coming by weekly to treat things. Rats are smart and cautious, while mice are curious and stupid. And, with a lack of winter here the last 3 years, many areas are having to deal with them. I haven't seen evidence of them in a couple of weeks, but they first showed up 6 months ago. It will take awhile to get rid of them, but hopefully, it won't be as bad as COVID-19 has been for so many areas. If this wasn't enough, I had to have bladder stone removal surgery 3 days after her death...and again 2 months ago. Plus, back in December, 2018, they discovered an umbilical hernia...which has grown since then. So, once COVID-19 settles out (Arkansas isn't doing as bad as some states), I've got laparoscopic surgery on the horizon. Then, to add insult to injury (more like salt in the wound), I suspect an update from Microsoft Windows crashed Internet Rex, so I had to shut the BBS down for 6 weeks...because we then had nearly nonstop thunderstorms through March. We've had tornadoes, large hail, high winds, and flooding rain (this is the stormiest I've seen in the nearly 43 years living in Arkansas)...but by comparison to other states, we've had "a glancing blow"...especially with the tornado outbreak on Easter. I finally got things working again, with a short lull in the weather. Basically, "On the extreme, I rest my case". :P M>I find existing to be difficult at times. Sometimes, I swear, people don't M>even want me to exist, so often I'm trying to 'exist less' around people, M>depending on the situation. My hopes have been crushed so many times, and some trips I had planned to "get away from things for a time", had to be cancelled...because of finances, my Mom's funeral, and now for both COVID-19, and that hernia. It is very hard for me to have a positive outlook anymore, and it's only by the Grace Of God that I'm even sane right now. The hobbies of the BBS, ham radio, and square dance publications, are keeping me busy, but (Continued to next message) --- þ OLX 1.53 þ Go ahead, make my data! þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net .